Except ye know ye must go,
            accept ye know not where
            St. Muldoon, Apochrypha XX:20

            The French, they have a password for it:
            faire pipi, cabine, pissoir.
            While the Queen of the Hudson just
            prints a million signifiers:
            REST ROOMS RESERVED FOR CUSTOMERS.

            Pity the key fathers afraid
            of cabin fever, dope, a screw
            Loose in the flower-sprayed stalls, yes
            shake the hanky, yes, fear the panky
            NY's folly blooms anew.

            When Niagara falls confluent.
            Not quite fusillade, quit torrent,
            SHH-quiet, truant, calling gently
            I had to go piss in the gutter
            knees bent twixt Yugo and Bentley.

            The cop beams me a light flutter
            before I could book a flight out.
            "me oh my, is it your Johnson
            you be waving at me? Let's see
            your driver's license, flasher." He

            commanded, "it's expired, no doubt."
            "Not driving, I'm designated
            Pisser, "I quipped, whipping it back in.
            "Look, cossack, where's the evidence.
            Valjean, down the sewer dirty?"

            Have you got a Kodak, snapshot?
            No picture of my kisser, yo
            No summons, no tickee, blue-shirty."
            Thus, I rolled my lies to heaven- "I'm clean,
            Mister cop"-and plait my piss wet

            Palms together, flashing him salute,
            short-stepping a French finger.
            Belfast never imploded faster
            than what mastered me. "By Saints Caedmon,
            Paul, Thomas, James, and Seamus."

            His ire soared, landing famous, aimless,
            his helping ham slamming me
            to the ground, and I found my hands
            cuffed to my crack by Kojak.
            Transported to cop haven, now.

            Facing east, man instamatically
            stigmatized, front and side view
            Polarized, justice, piss deferred.
            Print that. Next time, don't, or flee, like
            Paris.

            
Copyright © Howard Fisch, 2002.  All Rights Reserved.