MICHAEL ESTABROOK tells us he is "A medievalist at heart (and by training) disappointed (though reconciled, mostly) with the modern world, particularly with the materialism and mercantilism bludgeoning life, smashing our brains into the ground, our hearts into dust. I'm still hoping to find a true and meaningful "cause" in life, other than scratching out my pale poetic murmurings like trying to write in hardened concrete. But I need to find my "cause" pretty soon before I turn to dust myself."


JACKSON POLLACK, ET AL.
 

"I've been doing more painting lately," she says, her eyes sparkling like a Gaugin girl poised at the edge of a dark green forest. "But I don't think you would like them," she adds, sipping her coffee. Women, I think to myself, can be such frustrating creatures. "Why do you say that?" I ask. "I don't know. They are really abstract and you're more classical in your tastes." "But I love the Impressionists," I say in a weak defense. "I'm not Impressionistic." She stares at me as if I've just stepped on her foot and am not getting off. "I'm really Abstract, really," she repeats. "Remember that painting in Thomas's office? You said you didn't like it. I paint like that. Nope, I don't think you'll like my paintings." If she could see the mess, the churning swirl of color, texture, feelings, the massive abstract cacophony swirling inside my head right now she certainly wouldn't be saying that. But I can't let it rest, I can't. I love Abstract art, I really do. I admit I don't understand it that well, but I am trying to learn more, finding it easy to appreciate Paul Klee, Wassily Kandinsky, Umberto Boccioni, Jackson Pollack, and the others. "I'd like to see some of your paintings anyway. Maybe I could write poems to go along with them." (My audacity, my hubris, knows no bounds, to think I can write a poem to go along with anything, really, especially art, what an idiot I am.) "It might be an interesting coming together of two art forms." "OK," she says right away, "I'll send a couple to you over email." Yes, her eyes are sparkling like stars in the pink early dawn. In the five years I have known her, I've never seen her as excited, as animated, as this. She's so excited I can barely eat my lunch. When someone finds something they love and feel impassioned about it is awe-inspiring. She's an artist! My friend is really an artist. All she needs to do is study the masters and practice like crazy, paint, paint, paint until the knuckles of her pretty hands are sore as hell. Say, where is Jackson Pollack when we need him anyway?

Copyright © Michael Estabrook, 2005.  All Rights Reserved.
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